George, where are the teeth directions????

It probably took more courage than I had, but as my last remaining eight teeth began to fall apart, decay, ache, I looked for a good dentist. Lew's secretary was good enough to make me aware of a dental clinic on Redwood Road. I called and made an appointment. Drove up. Big new building -- fancy. Oh, oh. As my hand pushed the door open I felt a $100 nudge to my hand. Looked around the semi-circular rotunda. My dentist's door was the first of five I noticed. Another door push ($100). There was an unusual television set with the latest news scrolling across the bottom of the screen -- another green bill floated away. I was welcomed and invited into an office with many diploma's and met the dentist. We didn't waste much time selling me the top of the line in the latest plastic teeth, connected to my mouth by four properly placed implants. Now we switched from note pad to contract material. In a way I was prepared for a few zeros, but when he started with a 7 followed by one, two, three zeros. STOP! Oh my gosh! $7,000. Does that cover pulling my teeth also? He was quick to mention that dental surgery is handled by another dentist. His charge is also $7,000 plus $150 for removal of each tooth; another $8200. I met this dentist. His office is mirror-glass lined shelves holding all sorts of fantastic ships. What a nice guy. ka-ching, ka-ching. We set up the whole thing for week from today -- next Monday. Oh yes, I was also told to bring in a check, money order or cash. On a good day that could be arranged. BUT this was the week that the stock market took the plunge of death. What to do. What to do. (Well, it sort of took my mind off the surgery). The day arrived. I took the prescribed amoxicillin, a deep breath, my good support system (Kat) and was directed to the chair. I was given a headset that kept me entertained with show tunes. However, the three hours of drilling became louder than the music. I was connected to an oxygen check and blood pressure cuff. A couple of times the little bells went off and I was asked to take some deep breaths. Does everyone hold their breath at the dentist? Just wondered. They kept asking me if I was all right and I kept asking how much longer. The dentist periodically reported to Kat and asked her if she would like to take a break and they would call her when I was finished. Four hours and I was through. I had to return the next day to have the teeth screwed in and was told to go out and have a steak for lunch. They wanted to prove to me that these teeth will work. I had three bites of a steak and kept it for the future. My mouth was pretty sore for a week -- Jello, mashed potatoes, ice cream etc. and then it happened. The anti-biotic back-fired. I broke out in the most amazing hives -- more like a chemical burn. This is too long. My thoughts on hives will follow another time. I just think George Washington had the right idea. I should have paid more attention to whittling. I probably could have whipped up a pretty good set of teeth.